Spring is in the air..a time to rejuventate and 'smell the roses.' Align yourself
with the 'real' you, the joyful you. The best way to do this is to continually and deliberately accept and be grateful for all that you are and have. Every day take an inventory of all the wonderful parts of your life: your family, your friends, your job, your health... Sift through what appears bleek at times and find that positive piece to focus on. Don't ever forget that you are a powerful creator and what you give your attention to is what will come to you. A negative focus is simply resistance to getting all you deserve;that you can overcome. So come alive this spring and all year long.
Start with our latest new tool added to our treasure box: Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Meditation... another way to keep you on track daily living The Secret. See our special introductory combo value above offered by MSM Sales.
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-help. Show all posts
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, June 20, 2008
Remind Yourself Everyday To Live
Every day I begin my day by speaking and listening to my personal declaration which serves as an important reminder to stay focused. Stored in my memory, I will repeat it through out the day as needed. It goes:
I am a powerful creator.
I can be, do, and have anything I want.
All I have to do is choose those positive thoughts that make me feel good.
I focus on what I want, what I appreciate, what I am thankful for.
My feelings will guide me to create positive thoughts and release all negativity from my mind.
These positive thoughts will bring more positive thoughts, experiences, and people into my life, transforming my desires into my physical reality.
Taken from Living The secret Everyday: My Secret Workbooks
I am a powerful creator.
I can be, do, and have anything I want.
All I have to do is choose those positive thoughts that make me feel good.
I focus on what I want, what I appreciate, what I am thankful for.
My feelings will guide me to create positive thoughts and release all negativity from my mind.
These positive thoughts will bring more positive thoughts, experiences, and people into my life, transforming my desires into my physical reality.
Taken from Living The secret Everyday: My Secret Workbooks
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Review of The Secret - June, 2008
Book Review: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
by Tom Butler-Bowdon, CityWire United Kingdom
http://www.citywire.co.uk/personal/-/news/other/content.aspx?ID=304406
by Tom Butler-Bowdon, CityWire United Kingdom
http://www.citywire.co.uk/personal/-/news/other/content.aspx?ID=304406
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Six Secret Qualities of Happy People
Six Secret Qualities of Happy People
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT.
If there’s one thing that we all seek - it’s happiness. I’ve never met a person who has told me they didn’t want to be happy, have you? When I do individual therapy, I have the opportunity to sit down with people as they present their concerns to me - whatever they may be. They usually seek therapy because they’re experiencing some level of emotional distress - and are fundamentally unhappy. I’ve noticed that a number of things come up over and over for people as reasons why this is so. There are certain things they either have - or don’t have - and with this information I’ve been able to come to an understanding of a question posed by many:
What makes people happy?
What do they have that others don’t? What’s their secret?
The following are my 6 secret qualities of happy people, in no particular order:
1) Absence of Toxic Shame: In the book, “Healing the Shame That Binds You,” John Bradshaw describes the difference between healthy vs toxic shame in that, “Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits…and keeps us grounded,” where “Toxic shame is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that I am flawed and defective as a human being.” Truly happy people have a strong sense of themselves and their value, in other words, an absence of toxic shame. This usually comes from a nurturing, loving and supportive experience in their families of origin. There are many reasons why people struggle with toxic shame. I find it often lies at the core of some depression, anxiety and perfectionism.
2) Absence of Resentment: Really happy people seem to be more successful at forgiveness. In addition, they often haven’t personalized the experience to the degree that others do. When you are good at letting things go - you don’t drag the burden of resentment around with you. Those who hold onto anger or grudges towards others for long periods of time can experience internal emotional distress that leads to bitterness, frustration and often health problems. They can also struggle with depression and excessive anger.
3) Living their Passion: People who are doing work that is satisfying to them, whether they simply enjoy showing up every day - or is more rewarding on a deeper level - tend to be happier. The same applies to those who have found a hobby or cause that brings them joy, whether it’s associated with work or not. Those who dislike their jobs and truly hate getting up every day to go to work tend to have an underlying baseline of life dissatisfaction that can lead to unhappiness. This is particularly true if they’re not engaging in something outside of work that touches that energizing place inside of them - which could atleast partially offset the impact of their unrewarding job.
4) Dreams for the Future: Those who have hopes, plans and excitement for the future are typically happier. They believe they can carry out their dreams - and can actually visualize them coming true. People who struggle with imagining what their futures might hold often don’t really believe that good things could actually happen for them. It’s possible their past or present have been so dismal that they’re unable to project positive things for the future. This is a very common belief of those struggling with depression. They may believe, “I can’t,” or “I don’t deserve.”
5) Ability to Stay in the Moment: Those who have mastered the skill to stay present - or in the moment - tend to be happier. Future worry is common for many people. Those who struggle with anxiety and depression often experience intense worry about about all sorts of things that can or might happen, so much so that the thinking creates an unpleasant emotional experience as if it’s actually occurred!
6) Connections to People: Happy people usually are connected to other people by supportive and loving relationships, no matter whether a few or many. There could be an argument that there are exceptions to this, but by and large, people need other people. From the time we are born, we seek to form attachments to our primary caregivers. Depending on the quality of these attachments, we will usually seek to form friendships and then - intimate partnerships. I’ve found that many unhappy people feel disconnected in some way to others - which can be very painful. Sometimes they are afraid to connect and other times their behavior is disconnecting. Regardless, for those who believe they need other people - and feel alone - a deep sense of unhappiness is common.
Like I mentioned previously, no matter who or where we are in this world, one of the ties that binds us together is the desire for happiness. Many of us know someone who seems to be a truly happy person. There’s something almost magical about them, their level of serenity, joy and state of “knowing” that everything will work out. And if doesn’t, it will still eventually be ok. I imagine that this person likely has all of the 6 happiness qualities I mentioned above. There are so many things that influence our emotional and psychological development. I believe that barring environmental chaos, (war, poverty, living conditions, etc) and severe psychological disturbance, we all have the ability to be “happy.”
It can require a bit of work to tackle the things that might be blocking us from that very achievable goal - shame, resentment, lack of dreams, future worry, isolation and/or lack of a life passion. The great news is I’ve seen it done enough times in my work as a therapist to know - it’s absolutely possible.
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT.
If there’s one thing that we all seek - it’s happiness. I’ve never met a person who has told me they didn’t want to be happy, have you? When I do individual therapy, I have the opportunity to sit down with people as they present their concerns to me - whatever they may be. They usually seek therapy because they’re experiencing some level of emotional distress - and are fundamentally unhappy. I’ve noticed that a number of things come up over and over for people as reasons why this is so. There are certain things they either have - or don’t have - and with this information I’ve been able to come to an understanding of a question posed by many:
What makes people happy?
What do they have that others don’t? What’s their secret?
The following are my 6 secret qualities of happy people, in no particular order:
1) Absence of Toxic Shame: In the book, “Healing the Shame That Binds You,” John Bradshaw describes the difference between healthy vs toxic shame in that, “Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits…and keeps us grounded,” where “Toxic shame is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that I am flawed and defective as a human being.” Truly happy people have a strong sense of themselves and their value, in other words, an absence of toxic shame. This usually comes from a nurturing, loving and supportive experience in their families of origin. There are many reasons why people struggle with toxic shame. I find it often lies at the core of some depression, anxiety and perfectionism.
2) Absence of Resentment: Really happy people seem to be more successful at forgiveness. In addition, they often haven’t personalized the experience to the degree that others do. When you are good at letting things go - you don’t drag the burden of resentment around with you. Those who hold onto anger or grudges towards others for long periods of time can experience internal emotional distress that leads to bitterness, frustration and often health problems. They can also struggle with depression and excessive anger.
3) Living their Passion: People who are doing work that is satisfying to them, whether they simply enjoy showing up every day - or is more rewarding on a deeper level - tend to be happier. The same applies to those who have found a hobby or cause that brings them joy, whether it’s associated with work or not. Those who dislike their jobs and truly hate getting up every day to go to work tend to have an underlying baseline of life dissatisfaction that can lead to unhappiness. This is particularly true if they’re not engaging in something outside of work that touches that energizing place inside of them - which could atleast partially offset the impact of their unrewarding job.
4) Dreams for the Future: Those who have hopes, plans and excitement for the future are typically happier. They believe they can carry out their dreams - and can actually visualize them coming true. People who struggle with imagining what their futures might hold often don’t really believe that good things could actually happen for them. It’s possible their past or present have been so dismal that they’re unable to project positive things for the future. This is a very common belief of those struggling with depression. They may believe, “I can’t,” or “I don’t deserve.”
5) Ability to Stay in the Moment: Those who have mastered the skill to stay present - or in the moment - tend to be happier. Future worry is common for many people. Those who struggle with anxiety and depression often experience intense worry about about all sorts of things that can or might happen, so much so that the thinking creates an unpleasant emotional experience as if it’s actually occurred!
6) Connections to People: Happy people usually are connected to other people by supportive and loving relationships, no matter whether a few or many. There could be an argument that there are exceptions to this, but by and large, people need other people. From the time we are born, we seek to form attachments to our primary caregivers. Depending on the quality of these attachments, we will usually seek to form friendships and then - intimate partnerships. I’ve found that many unhappy people feel disconnected in some way to others - which can be very painful. Sometimes they are afraid to connect and other times their behavior is disconnecting. Regardless, for those who believe they need other people - and feel alone - a deep sense of unhappiness is common.
Like I mentioned previously, no matter who or where we are in this world, one of the ties that binds us together is the desire for happiness. Many of us know someone who seems to be a truly happy person. There’s something almost magical about them, their level of serenity, joy and state of “knowing” that everything will work out. And if doesn’t, it will still eventually be ok. I imagine that this person likely has all of the 6 happiness qualities I mentioned above. There are so many things that influence our emotional and psychological development. I believe that barring environmental chaos, (war, poverty, living conditions, etc) and severe psychological disturbance, we all have the ability to be “happy.”
It can require a bit of work to tackle the things that might be blocking us from that very achievable goal - shame, resentment, lack of dreams, future worry, isolation and/or lack of a life passion. The great news is I’ve seen it done enough times in my work as a therapist to know - it’s absolutely possible.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Recipe 38- Shift into High Gear
We all experience swings in our mood states from time to time- you may feel happy one moment, frustrated another and sad or grumpy at other times depending on what you are focusing on. This is inevitable and some what controllable (unless we are dealing with a mood disorder that needs to be treated by a medical doctor).
Prepare ahead of time to be ready to shift thoughts by making a list of shifters. Write down those thoughts that could quickly change a negative thought and evoke a positive feeling or at least a feeling of relief. Don't expect to go from total frustration to joy instantaneously. But if you can feel a bit of relief of hopefulness, you are on your way.This will start the chain of reaction of attracting more and more positive thoughts.
When a negative thought enters your mind let it go. Say to yourself "I will receive what I choose to think. My feelings will guide me. " Then replace the negative thought with a shifter thought from your list. If one doesn't work, try another. The key is to refocus and feel the good feeling that attaches to it. Try being fully present in the moment and focusing on all those things that support your well-being;look around and be thankful for all the small things.
Prepare ahead of time to be ready to shift thoughts by making a list of shifters. Write down those thoughts that could quickly change a negative thought and evoke a positive feeling or at least a feeling of relief. Don't expect to go from total frustration to joy instantaneously. But if you can feel a bit of relief of hopefulness, you are on your way.This will start the chain of reaction of attracting more and more positive thoughts.
When a negative thought enters your mind let it go. Say to yourself "I will receive what I choose to think. My feelings will guide me. " Then replace the negative thought with a shifter thought from your list. If one doesn't work, try another. The key is to refocus and feel the good feeling that attaches to it. Try being fully present in the moment and focusing on all those things that support your well-being;look around and be thankful for all the small things.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Permanent Transformation- Practice Makes Perfect
Transforming your life and changing how you live takes practice and work. Too often we read self-help books,really identify with the principles shared and have these wonderful enlightening moments as we realize what is not or what is working in our lives. But then 3 months later these principles become a fading memory.No real change has occurred. Why? Noted psychologist William Glasser tells us how we learn and what we remember. We learn and retain:
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss with others
95% of what we teach
What this means for life transformation is that we must apply the principles of the Law of Attraction daily. Focus on them, do them, discuss them, teach them. In short, consciously practice them each day till they become part of your life.You've heard the old adage, practice makes perfect. Well, it's never been truer. That's what Living The Secret Everyday is all about
Taken from: Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss with others
95% of what we teach
What this means for life transformation is that we must apply the principles of the Law of Attraction daily. Focus on them, do them, discuss them, teach them. In short, consciously practice them each day till they become part of your life.You've heard the old adage, practice makes perfect. Well, it's never been truer. That's what Living The Secret Everyday is all about
Taken from: Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook
Friday, May 16, 2008
The Choice is Yours
Listed in our book are over 42 recipes and exercises you can choose from to get going and living the secret everyday. This has been done purposely. The choice is yours. As the creator of your own life...you must be the designer of how you are about to create your reality. I like the idea of being able to structure my life in a conscious and deliberate way.
Only you can choose things that will keep you on track- choose the ones you are attracted to. And be simple- only select a few. You'll find that you will be doing more and more as the days go by. You will get tired of some and replace them with others. The activity we get the most emails about is the vision board. People enjoy doing this activity and it is such a good reminder. We'll focus on this in the next blog.
Only you can choose things that will keep you on track- choose the ones you are attracted to. And be simple- only select a few. You'll find that you will be doing more and more as the days go by. You will get tired of some and replace them with others. The activity we get the most emails about is the vision board. People enjoy doing this activity and it is such a good reminder. We'll focus on this in the next blog.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Accepting Where You Are To Move On
A few more words on the importance of gratitude. Gratitude is all about accepting where you are in order move on to the joyful and abundant life. When you are genuinely grateful for what you have and where you are in life now, you allow that feeling of well-being to stream through you. You are going with the 'flow ' towards all that you want. Conversely,complaining about not having what you want puts you in a resistive state and manifests what you do not want.
Most importantly: it doesn't matter where you are; all that matters is that you accept where you are and feel good about it. Life is about being happy now and the Law of Attraction will do the rest.
Most importantly: it doesn't matter where you are; all that matters is that you accept where you are and feel good about it. Life is about being happy now and the Law of Attraction will do the rest.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Ask Yourself: What Am I Doing ?
As a follow-up to our last blog on Happy Living:Free Yourself from Your Mind, we received a comment from another blogger, beautifully written that captured the essence of our communication with a great tip on how to live consciously: Just ask yourself 'what am I doing?'
An excerpt from it is printed here:
How do we live in the now and have that electrifying experience? It has to do with our awareness and our surrounding. We have senses to help us navigate through life and we must learn to harness them for our benefit. Most of the time, we are doing things and have no inner connection to what we are saying, thinking or believing. Our emotions to our inner trait behavior are demonstrated by what we see, hear, smell, taste or touch. The “now experience” has to do with things you can see, hear, touch, taste or smell. This is the realm we live in and you can only respond to your five physical senses. So, you must constantly ask yourself” what am I doing?”This way you can involve or engage your sensory system in what ever you are doing. Have you ever had a conversation with some one and your mind was taking a walk? I started involving my five senses and being more aware of people, things and situations.
Thank you for sharing Big Cheez250. Visit his blog Living on Auto-Pilot
An excerpt from it is printed here:
How do we live in the now and have that electrifying experience? It has to do with our awareness and our surrounding. We have senses to help us navigate through life and we must learn to harness them for our benefit. Most of the time, we are doing things and have no inner connection to what we are saying, thinking or believing. Our emotions to our inner trait behavior are demonstrated by what we see, hear, smell, taste or touch. The “now experience” has to do with things you can see, hear, touch, taste or smell. This is the realm we live in and you can only respond to your five physical senses. So, you must constantly ask yourself” what am I doing?”This way you can involve or engage your sensory system in what ever you are doing. Have you ever had a conversation with some one and your mind was taking a walk? I started involving my five senses and being more aware of people, things and situations.
Thank you for sharing Big Cheez250. Visit his blog Living on Auto-Pilot
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Is Eat, Pray, Love about Living The Secret?
Yes, yes and more yes. There is no doubt in my mind that Liz Gilbert's journey to find inner peace and happiness is all about her journey living The Secret. This is truly one woman's journey that is every woman's journey to find that life of joy waiting for her. Inspiring, honest and beautifully written we are able to get into the mind of a woman who is focused, faithful and on a mission to find beauty in her own world. This is a book I will read over and over again- can't say that about a lot of books. It is on the top of my list.
Her travels to Italy, India and Indonesia are only the backdrop for her quest to find herself. We don't need to travel round the world to make such a journey- all we have to do is search inside ourselves so we too can open the doors to our life as we open the doors to our mind and heart. We must focus each and everyday as Liz did. It does take effort and practice in order permanently change our lives :"to prevent leaking away of (the) innate contentement." (E.Gilbert). She says it so elegantly in her book, "The best we can do ...in response to our incomprehensible and dangerous world is to practice holding equilibrium internally- no matter what insanity is transpiring out there.' '(p.206 Eat,Pray,Love). This translates to living our lives with conscious awareness and deliberateness. That is The Secret.
Her travels to Italy, India and Indonesia are only the backdrop for her quest to find herself. We don't need to travel round the world to make such a journey- all we have to do is search inside ourselves so we too can open the doors to our life as we open the doors to our mind and heart. We must focus each and everyday as Liz did. It does take effort and practice in order permanently change our lives :"to prevent leaking away of (the) innate contentement." (E.Gilbert). She says it so elegantly in her book, "The best we can do ...in response to our incomprehensible and dangerous world is to practice holding equilibrium internally- no matter what insanity is transpiring out there.' '(p.206 Eat,Pray,Love). This translates to living our lives with conscious awareness and deliberateness. That is The Secret.
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