Recipe 37 Make Peace with Yourself

Making peace is about cleansing and forgiving. It is about opening yourself up to allow positive energy to flow. It's about letting go of negative thoughts that are
holding you back or blocking you from getting what you want. It's about getting rid of those limiting thoughts you were taught growing up. It's about regaining your power.When you take control of your life, you become the powerful creator of the life you want. Here's a recipe (p.108-9)to 'look back' and make peace:

Recipe 37: My Life in Review
Find a quiet place and reflect on your life beginning now and going backwards in time. As you begin to review it, ask yourself questions. Are there people or experiences or events in my life that have had a very negative affect on me and still continue to evoke strong negative feelings in me? Am I angry about someone or something? Have I accepted and truly felt those feelings so I can let them go? Once you have found such a memory, let yourself see the image of it. See in your mind what exactly it was about, feel the feelings associated with it and then forgive yourself or another and be thankful for the experience, accepting that evry experience in our life has made you who we are.

Letting Go and Cleansing

Knowing the importance of our emotions as our guidance system- they tell us if we are heading in the right direction, towards that life of fulfillment and joy or attracting negative experiences into our lives;we must pay attention to them... continually be in a state of awareness about emotions and thoughts. Feel them, accept them and express them to move on.

Unfortunately, many of us have stored from our ‘growing up ‘ years, negative
emotions that we have suppressed and never truly dealt with. Letting go, cleansing and forgiving are the topics of chapter 18 in Living The Secret Everyday- “ "It’s time to cleanse yourself of negativity; forgive others, and let go of past events that have negatively influenced you. If you hold on to anger because you can’t forgive, you bring more negativity and things you don’t want into your life.You can’t move on to what you want when you pay attention to what you don’t want." Coming next, the recipes....

Emotions Are Our Guidance System

According to the Law of Attraction, it is those dominant thoughts (positive or negative)that you focus on and are fueled by emotions that will bring you more of the same. As Dr. Peters states below, they are like the energizer bunny. The stronger the emotion behind our thoughts, the more powerful the vibration we send into the universe. Dr. Peters even looks at disease and its connection to emotions not expressed:

Emotions energize us so I like to think of them as “e-motion” or energy in motion- that is, energy that has to go somewhere. The biological plan for emotion is for it to flow outward and be felt just like electricity traveling down a wire. When we suppress emotion, we prevent it from flowing so it is stored as a type of potential energy waiting for release. If we keep it in storage and never allow it to express itself, then it starts negatively affecting bodily tissue and becomes the mechanism for psychosomatic disease. To use an analogy, emotions are like a stream flowing out of the mountains; if you dam it up, it will wreck the terrain.______Ron Peters, MD,MPH Exploring the Psychology of Disease

Is it Just Positive Thinking? What do you think?

Being in touch with your feelings is the only way you can ever become your highest self, the only way you can become open and free, the only way you can become your own person. David Viscott, M.D. The Language of Feelings

Emotions are the fire of consciousness, and it is that fire that can either purify or damage us.The positive emotions of happiness, joy, inspiration, and love can optimize our body functioning more efficiently than any diet or exercise regimen. The emotions of fear, anger, sadness and pain will eat away at the body if we do not deal with them appropriately. But in either case, feelings are there to be felt. If we don't allow ourselves to fully experience, we deny ourselves the healing potential of the positive ones and harm ourselves by not releasing the negative ones. Ron Peters, MD,MPH; Exploring The Psychology of Disease

One of the biggest myths about The Secret is, that it is only about positive thinking. It is true that changing your thoughts to more positive ones can sometimes make you feel better about things. But positive thinking is often a form of denial, like covering up a rotting flooring in a house with brand new linoleum. The floor is still going to collapse one day because the underlying problem was never dealt with, just hidden behind a shiny new face. Ron Peters,MS,MPH

The key for us then, is to accept, feel and express all feelings to move on to the life you want. Someone dies; you grieve. You don't just not think about it. But wallowing in and continually focusing on limiting ideas that only keep you in a state of anger, fear and sadness will cause you to get 'stuck' and attract more of the same into your life. But it is this cleansing and forgiving (feeling and letting go) that will take you to the life you want.

What do you think ??????????? Send in your comments.

The Power of Affirmations and the Law of Attraction

" The human mind is constantly attracting vibrations
that harmonize with that which dominates the mind.
Any thought, idea, plan or purpose which one holds
in one's mind attracts a host of its 'relatives' to
its own force and becomes the dominating, motivating
master of the individual in whose mind it has been housed."

-- Napoleon Hill

Sample Affirmations I Use

Here are sampling of affirmations that I use daily as reminders; to keep me present and to attract that wonderful life I have and will continue to live. For an expanded list see chapter 13, Living The Secret Everyday

I am joyful.
I am strong, powerful and at peace.
I focus on positive thoughts.
I release any harsh expectations I have about me and others.
I am grateful for my lovely house.
Books are flying off the shelves.
I love my body.
All my feelings including fear, anger,jealousy... are okay.
I listen,accept and express all my feelings.
I am so grateful that I am aware of my feelings.
My feelings are guiding me to that joyful life.
I live deliberately and consciously.
Abundance is always present in my life.
Things are always going my way.
Awareness is my key to my happy life.

Affirmations: Recipe 13

In order to receive all that you want, you must feel good now about your world. You must be grateful for what you have, sift through what is to find the positive and appreciate yourself and others. Affirmations are powerful tools to put you in the receiving mode. Use them throughout the day to keep you in a positive state-of-mind, to strengthen your beliefs, and keep you focused on what you want. The more you repeat them and see them as being, the more power you bring to these thoughts and desires.
Here are some tips for constructing and using affirmations:
1. Always construct affirmations in the present tense.
2. Phrase affirmations in short and simple sentences. Use positive language only.
3. Use your affirmations in your creative visualization to make them even more real to you.
4. Add positive emotion to your affirmations. Ask yourself how you feel as you embrace this positive statement. Feel the feeling flow through you. The emotion will make the feeling more commanding.
Recipe 13: My Affirmation List
Reflect on the changes you want to bring int your life. What do you really want? Write a list of your affirmations...use them daily silently to yourself, in conversations...

For more: Living The Secret Everyday


To share your thoughts or email us: click comments below.

Happy Tax Day

It does sound like an oxymoron doesn't it? But actually this truly is the crux of The Secret. The idea of making peace with wherever you are and realizing that you can get to wherever you want is at the heart of it. Okay...so its tax day and many of us have to pay taxes that we don't want to or don't have the money to. But that's just how it is...gotta do it. How can you steer away from getting stuck in the negativity of this.?.. I focus on thoughts like: its only one time a year; it's over tomorrow; got it finished - yeah !and next year I will make so much more that I won't have to even worry about it. Whatever positive thoughts that you can create to soften the 'blow' and move on feels so much better and will move you to where you want to be. It is the Law of Attraction.

5 Tips for the Creating a Healthy Home Environment

1.A warm and accepting environment- Give spontaneous hugs and warm feelings frequently for no particular reason. Send the message "I love you" over and over by your words and actions. There can never be too much of this. This is especially important when a child misbehaves- parents must be careful not to withdraw their love. They must demonstrate their love is unconditional by firmly and calmly addressing the behavior they don't approve of and not the child as a person. Optimism is the cornerstone. The glass is half full rather than half empty. Focus on the strenghts of your children (compliment them) rather than their weaknesses. Speak positively about others.

2. Set limits on your child's behavior. What are the rules of the house? What is expected from each member of the family? What are the consequences for breaking the rules? Are these communicated to the children so they know what is expected of them?

3. Promote self esteem. Give approval and attention at every opportunity.Encouragement and kind words motivate children to cooperate and meet challenges head on. When children hear their parents talking positively about them, they feel special. Self esteem is fostered when parents praise them . Any strengths and accomplishments should be recognized. Put-downs, sarcasm and ridicule have no place in the home for raising healthy children. Give children tasks and chores that are a bit challenging but designed so they can be successful. Self confidence increases with each successful experience.

4. Encourage open communication and the expression of feelings. Children learn from watching Mom and Dad that all feelings are okay. They learn that feelings are expressed with words and not acted on. Anger, sadness, joy, jealousy...are accepted and discussed openly. When we inquire about children's feelings and listen carefully, we send a message that they are special to us. Staying calm when children scream, cry or panic makes children feel safe and optimistic that these feelings will go away. Criticizing, denying or blaming children for feeling anxious or upset will only close down communication channels.

5. Model and teach social skills. Children learn to be assertive. Show and teach them early on to ask for what they want, say no and stand up for themselves. Parents should model an effective problem solving approach...and problem solve outloud: state the issue (problem); think about all the posssible solutions, evaluate the solutions; choose the best solution and act on it. Teach children that conflict is a natural part of life and its okay to disagree. Show them that what is important is how they solve the conflict; use their words and not hands; share, take turns etc.
Children learn friendship skills by watching their parents interact with friends. Its important to begin exposing children to other children in play situations so they learn how to get along with others.

The Home and The Secret

Parents as the primary teachers of their children are the first ones and in most cases the most enduring ones through out their lives that will create a world where children will get the first sense of how to live. A home environment becomes paramount to how the child sees the world and himself. A happy, loving and empowered child will bloom from a home that consciously parents... where parents are mindful of their role and the environment they design and its impact on their children.

Here are some tips of what a powerful home environment should look like: Create an environment that:

1. Is warm and accepting...this creates feelings of security and self-confidence.
2. Sets limits on behavior...when children understand where their limits are, again they feel more comfortable and secure- there is no need to constantly test them to find out.
3. Promotes self esteem... when children are taken seriously and respected in the family; they feel good about who they are.
4. Encourages open communication and expression of feelings...When we inquire about children's feelings and listen carefully, we send a message that they are special to us. Children need to learn that all feeling are normal; when accepted children are more likely to talk to parents about their fears and thoughts and not be so worried.
5. Models and teaches social skills...a home that explains and shows children how to stand up for themselves, get along with others, and deal with problems and conflicts bestows valuable gifts that will benefit children their entire life. Parents need to model and teach skills of assertiveness, problem solving, conflict resolution, and friendship.

To be continued- how to create this environment...

Parents: Teaching The Secret

Okay.... so I do believe strongly as an educator that The Secret (or AKA the Law of Attraction) should be part of every school curriculum- I've made that very clear in my last 5 blogs. But the next question I put to all of you is: What is the role of parents in all this?

Keeping in mind that most children start school at age 5; the parents are the primary and only teachers for these first 5 years. This becomes such an important factor or foundation in the growth and development of the child. Raising empowered and joyful children starts with setting an example.As parents we have the capacity to help our children reach their limitless potential through choices we make in our parenting roles. You cannot parent your children until you learn to parent yourself. Parents are the role models (of both their good and bad behavior) for their children. Research is clear that children are more likely to do as their parents do rather than what they say. The key is to consciously parent- be mindful and aware of the impact our actions have on our children so that we can guide them in a way that empowers them to be true to themselves and make a difference in the world.
How does that work? To be continued...

Teach The Secret in Schools ? Part 5

From a recently released press release comes the answer:

A Newly Released Book, Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook is Tested Successfully in a High School Classroom

Thousand Oaks,California (December 12, 2007) Educator and author of the newly-released book, Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook recalls when she got the idea to write it. Watching the Oprah Show in February, 2007, she recalls Oprah saying, "This (referring to The Secret) should be in the schools." Joanne Scaglione knew in her heart that Oprah was right. Now its time she says to challenge Oprah to actually do it- bring The Secret to not only her leadership academy but to all schools around the world. No one knows better than Oprah the importance of teaching these empowering principles to our youth.

Tired of watching the blame for failing schools shift from schools to teachers to parents to administrators... every few years for the past 30 years, Dr. Scaglione believes its time to teach children how to use their powerful mind and how to be responsible for their own learning and the creation of the life they want. She understood that classic learning theory was necessary to do this. She knew that for any book to be effective, it must engage the learner so that he/she may internalize, apply and use the principles of the Law of Attraction for it to become a part of their lives permanently. She designed a curriculum guide as an interactive workbook- a program for schools to empower children ...only to realize when it was finished that its value did not stop at the classroom door but that it should be part of every household as well.

Losing no time she piloted the workbook in a high school classroom in Thousand Oaks, California and confirmed her belief that we need to empower our youth in our schools by teaching them to be powerful, conscious and deliberate creators of their own lives. "This is what education should be about," she says. Overwhelmingly the students agreed that it changed the way they thought. Jessica said, " It really opened my eyes to all the possibilities that could be in my life by thinking more positive thoughts." Carolina felt it should be used in all high schools " so that kids could realize that they can change the way they are."

Teach The Secret in Schools ? Part 4

Children can be so affected by what they learn early in life; by role models they admire and respect; by adults that have faith and empower them with their words and actions. We've seen this played out so many times... how one person or some experience has dramatically transformed people's lives. Shouldn't this be school, teachers, parents?

Really think about it, look at some of the most successful people who have come from meager beginnings. Why do certain kids overcome major obstacles in their lives- poverty, abuse, drugs, lack of schooling....? I recently saw a 60 minute special on Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice who grew up in extreme poverty. He said his grandfather taught him something very important- he could do whatever he wanted. Oprah Winfrey said her success sprung from the feeling- she always knew she could and would despite what was going on in her life. We’ve seen it over and over – successful adults pointing to their parents or a teacher or some significant person in their life who taught them ‘you can do or be whatever you want to.” They believed it and lived it. We’re back to- to if you think you can you can.

Recently I watched Bill Cosby talking about his book Come On People; about the plight of black people in poverty….demanding them to DO. He urges them to stop being victims: empower themselves and stop accepting the drugs, crime and one-parent households that are so indicative of the black population today. This is a book challenging people to stop living by default, and actually consciously empower themselves and their children by staying on top of them, supporting education. He kept emphasizing how they are not doing this- consciously parenting- stuck in inertia and blaming systemic racism for their plight. The more they point the finger of blame outward to the system (even though its true) the less personal responsibility they have… the more they disempower themselves…. The more stuck they are in their lives.

Similarly the more we point outside the children for the responsibility of learning - to the schools, society, teachers, socio-economic conditions – we disempower them. There is no successful child that I have come across that didn’t believe he had to 'buy in.' For many, the faith and support from another was the 'icing on the cake.' To me this is the KEY: we adults- parents and educators must believe that all kids can be successful with our support. Educate and parent them accordingly.
To be continued....

Teach the Secret in Schools ? - Part 3

As a counselor at a continuation high school for the past 4 years, watching failing children for one reason or another succeeding in school for the first time, coupled with the 3 years of counseling at the elementary level; I've probably learned more about what works than I have in the 20 + years prior to that. These experiences gave me a first-hand look at what it takes for kids to be successful.

First a little background information: a continuation school is where children are shipped out to when they fail so many classes that there is no way they can catch up in credits to graduate from the traditional high school. Other students have failed to attend school regularly or have had discipline issues at the school they are being transferred from. For many of these kids they have failed since the first grade. Yes... they come to us with a pretty negative outlook towards school and usually themselves as well. Most of them initially do not want to be here. To them it's more of the same thing... a further humiliation that they have 'failed' out of their 'home' school with an expectation of more of the same.

About 90% of these students become successful- and end up returning to their home school to graduate on time or graduate from the continuation school. Why is this so? When these students arrive they are feeling totally disempowered...with little control over their lives. Many beleive that this will be yet another school experience to fail in. The transformation comes when they change the way they view school or what they think about learning.

When they enter, they are bombarded with messages daily from the principal, counselor, teachers and all staff that say just the opposite: It's up to you... you have the control...you are responsible for your learning. You can choose to succeed or not. Wherever you are now...you CAN move on and graduate. Call it brainwashing, but once these kids buy into these beliefs...the old adage if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right never was truer and it is amazing how quickly they progress.

Students when they enter are put in classes and levels where they can succeed and allowed to move at their own pace. In any classroom children are working at different levels and receive individual help as needed from the teachers. It is amazing to watch the changes in attitudes and the transformation as students start to realize they CAN succeed. Some are very slow to start, 'dragging their feet' as they had always done. Then all of a sudden the 'light bulb' goes on as they begin to successfully complete 1 class, then another and another. Yes...success does breed success and being in a positive environment that says we will support you if you want it ; we believe in you does help. For the first time they feel EMPOWERED- they know they can DO IT. That's when it happens.
to be continued....

Teach The Secret in Schools ? Part 2

For the past 30 years as an educator I don’t think a year has gone by without hearing the cry – for school reform. Schools have been under attack as failing our children as far back as I can remember. Beginning back in the seventies when I began teaching, the classic book “Why Johnny Can’t Read” embraced the need for school reform. For 30 years we’ve come up with new programs after programs; be it ‘new math’, literature-based reading, affective education… and the list goes on always focusing on what’s NOT working in education and how the schools have failed our children.

As an educator, I’m tired of the blame-game; watching the blame move around for the failure of schools to educate. We blame everyone and everything: society, economic status, poor schools, poor administration, funding, poor teaching, curriculum, no standards, lack of parent involvement…. And yet, if you track a child from 1st or second grade to high school (and I’ve done this repeatedly) their problems continue and never change- whether it is motivation, academic performance, capability, discipline- the cum seems to repeat itself for the 6 year old and them again as a 16 year old. The conclusion: education does not serve as an affective intervention.

I believe that the finger pointing does us no good- in fact it hurts us by taking us down the wrong road. When we hold kids responsible we empower them. When we point the finger of blame at schools, teachers and so on we disempower kids. We build a pecking order of blame…and the ironic part is that the kids never become part of it…. They get off the hook. They have no responsibility for their learning. If they don’t learn it’s someone or something else’s fault. They become victims.

For me this issue of failing schools should be addressed by starting with a new revolutionary approach which re-examines how we view the purpose of education....beginning with the questions- Who’s responsible when schools fail ? Or do they fail? Or should we rephrase it- when children fail to learn?

The answer- hold children responsible as the creators of their own lives- with limitless potential to be, do or have whatever they want. Teach them the power of thought. Incorporate the principles of the Law of Attraction: Teach kids, if you change the way you think, your world will change. You are in control of you. Take responsibility for creating the life you want. Accept where you are and move on to where you want. In a nutshell, empower school children to be all that they can be. And trust me ...I have seen it happen.
to be continued.... Joanne

Teaching The Secret in Schools ? Part 1

What a thought....and I'm sure could be quite a controversy? What do you think?

As an educator and parent for 30 years I say YES.....

Our schools today are so obsessed with test scores to the point that all we teach our kids is that academic 'stuff.' No Child Left Behind Act is leaving more and more kids behind despite the extra and unnecessary pressure we are putting on our kids.

Its about time we look at what should be the purpose of education and I mean in the home and in the school. Think about the questions below (answer them too please) - and whether this is what we want the end product of our educational system to be....

Are we teaching our children how to live happy, productive and fulfilling lives?

Are we producing well-balanced, empowered children who will make a meaningful contribution to the world?

Are we truly encouraging the limitless potential that is present in all children?
to be continued....