Are You Winging It or Bringing It ?

Life is a contact sport, and if you want to be the person standing with the championship trophy at the end of the game, then you need to live your life with an all out effort, rather than just sitting in the stands watching other people enjoy the spoils of victory.
People who float through life just going with the flow are the same people who end up being dashed onto the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, whereas people who are willing to kick, fight, claw, and scratch for what they want are the people whose lives become examples of what dreams are made of.
Life hands us plenty of opportunities to just take the easy way out, and most people do exactly that. Although they know in their heart's that they want more than they are presently getting out of life, the huge effort that would be required of them to receive the spoils of going against the current is simply beyond their willingness to undertake. They apply a token effort (winging it) rather than a consistent 100% intensity effort (bringing it), and they are rewarded with wonderfully mediocre results.
People who BRING IT, on the other hand, take charge of their lives by giving up the victim mentality. As Joel Osteen is fond of saying, they are vicTOR's rather than vicTIM's.
It's not an easy journey, though, which is precisely why most people don't do it. Someone who is "bringing it" lays their head on their pillow at the end of the day with the true 100% belief that they did everything in their power to make their dreams a reality that day, and they often have the scars to prove it.
People from the "winging it" group, on the other hand, lay in bed at night wondering if they did the right thing, worrying about their future, lying to themselves about why they backed off on their intensity, why they ate so much junk food that day, or why they let that person push them around.
People who BRING IT don't worry about anything. They have truly done everything they can do, so worrying is a complete waste of time.
People who just wing it constantly wonder what they could have done better, or what they need to do tomorrow to make up for today's shortcomings.
People who BRING IT may be scratched, beat up, bruised, or bleeding, but they go to bed knowing that they truly fought their best fight, and they are at peace as a result.
People who just wing it are masters at coming up with reasons excuses for why they didn't make an all out effort.
People who BRING IT live up to their personal integrity every single day, even if it means a lack of security, or if it means taking a risk.
People who just wing it always take the safe route, and they die just a little bit inside each time they give up what they truly want in order to settle for what they believe they can have.
People who BRING IT realize that every 60 seconds of their life is another 60 seconds that they can take action towards their goals.
People who just wing it always have reasons excuses for why they haven't yet finished a project, or accomplished a goal.
People who BRING IT understand that their position of power is something that they create internally, and that it has nothing to do with the outside circumstances.
People who just wing it can always justify their willingness to give up control of their lives with lots of "real world" reasons for why it's all out of their hands.
People who BRING IT also KNOW that they are bringing it, and even if they live in a cardboard box, their cardboard box is the best one on the block because it was built with confidence and pride, not lack and despair.
People who just wing it are well aware of the fact that they are winging it, and no matter how successful or unsuccessful they are, the voice in the back of their mind never stops reminding them that their life isn't what it could be. They are also quite proficient at ignoring that voice.
There are a lot of people (myself included) who say that life should be full of joy, and that true joy is effortless. When you are truly living your life in alignment with your desires, struggle is not part of the equation. The confusion comes in when people equate the word "effortless" with the word "easy".
Effortless means that even though you are gasping for air and physically exhausted during a workout, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your body, and that fills you with joy.
- Easy means that you don't workout at all, or that you only give a token effort.
Effortless means that even though you have to live on 4 hours of sleep per night while you build a business or finish your education, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your future.
- Easy means just taking a day job and hoping for the best.
Effortless means that you do everything and anything in your power to make your relationships wonderful by being the best you that you can be, and you are 100% confident that anyone who doesn't see the value in what you have to offer doesn't deserve to have you in their life.
- Easy means settling for relationship circumstances that you don't agree with or enjoy.
Effortless means standing up for what you believe in at work, at church, in your neighborhood, and even in your own home, because you are 100% confident that living up to your personal integrity is more important than living by the status quo.
- Easy means doing what everyone else is doing so you don't rock the boat.
The difference between "effortless" and "easy" is the same difference between "Bringing It" and "Winging It". One of those states of mind ensures success, abundance, happiness, and joy, while the other ensures struggle, strife, fear, and uncertainty.
Life gives us back exactly what we put into it. If you want your life to be a Kingdom of Glory, Success, Joy, and Happiness, then act like a King, not like a pauper.
Taken from: TodayIsThatDay.com/Blog

Slipping- A Great Reminder

Yes I do slip backwards...we all do. And you shouldn't beat yourself up when you do. Growing up in a household that always shined a light on negative things; problems and looking at what is and seeing the worst...it seems for most of my life I've lived in this thinking mode on auto-pilot. But I am so grateful that I am now aware of this and can sometimes, not always stop myself and remind myself that:

I am a powerful creator
I can be, do , or have anything I want
Everything I focus on, talk about, pay attention to I manifest into my life
That is the law of attraction
The key is to control my thoughts and focus on the positive
It is very hard when it feels like everything is crashing down
But focusing on one little thing to be thankful for, will bring another and another ....positive thought
The key is to pay attention to how you feel
When you are feeling bad... you are choosing negativity and blocking the joy into your life
The universe knows what you want...is standing ready to give it to you as soon
as you get into alignment with the real you...your source... higher being...the joyful you
Everything you want will come as soon as you open your heart and deliberately
and consciously live that joyful life NOW.
When you are feeling better... you are getting more of the same and heading towards everything you want. All you have to do is take deliberate baby steps.
That is the Law of Attraction.

Just reminding myself of this brings me to a more positive place and once again I'm on my way.

Six Secret Qualities of Happy People

Six Secret Qualities of Happy People
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT.

If there’s one thing that we all seek - it’s happiness. I’ve never met a person who has told me they didn’t want to be happy, have you? When I do individual therapy, I have the opportunity to sit down with people as they present their concerns to me - whatever they may be. They usually seek therapy because they’re experiencing some level of emotional distress - and are fundamentally unhappy. I’ve noticed that a number of things come up over and over for people as reasons why this is so. There are certain things they either have - or don’t have - and with this information I’ve been able to come to an understanding of a question posed by many:

What makes people happy?
What do they have that others don’t? What’s their secret?

The following are my 6 secret qualities of happy people, in no particular order:

1) Absence of Toxic Shame: In the book, “Healing the Shame That Binds You,” John Bradshaw describes the difference between healthy vs toxic shame in that, “Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits…and keeps us grounded,” where “Toxic shame is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that I am flawed and defective as a human being.” Truly happy people have a strong sense of themselves and their value, in other words, an absence of toxic shame. This usually comes from a nurturing, loving and supportive experience in their families of origin. There are many reasons why people struggle with toxic shame. I find it often lies at the core of some depression, anxiety and perfectionism.
2) Absence of Resentment: Really happy people seem to be more successful at forgiveness. In addition, they often haven’t personalized the experience to the degree that others do. When you are good at letting things go - you don’t drag the burden of resentment around with you. Those who hold onto anger or grudges towards others for long periods of time can experience internal emotional distress that leads to bitterness, frustration and often health problems. They can also struggle with depression and excessive anger.
3) Living their Passion: People who are doing work that is satisfying to them, whether they simply enjoy showing up every day - or is more rewarding on a deeper level - tend to be happier. The same applies to those who have found a hobby or cause that brings them joy, whether it’s associated with work or not. Those who dislike their jobs and truly hate getting up every day to go to work tend to have an underlying baseline of life dissatisfaction that can lead to unhappiness. This is particularly true if they’re not engaging in something outside of work that touches that energizing place inside of them - which could atleast partially offset the impact of their unrewarding job.
4) Dreams for the Future: Those who have hopes, plans and excitement for the future are typically happier. They believe they can carry out their dreams - and can actually visualize them coming true. People who struggle with imagining what their futures might hold often don’t really believe that good things could actually happen for them. It’s possible their past or present have been so dismal that they’re unable to project positive things for the future. This is a very common belief of those struggling with depression. They may believe, “I can’t,” or “I don’t deserve.”
5) Ability to Stay in the Moment: Those who have mastered the skill to stay present - or in the moment - tend to be happier. Future worry is common for many people. Those who struggle with anxiety and depression often experience intense worry about about all sorts of things that can or might happen, so much so that the thinking creates an unpleasant emotional experience as if it’s actually occurred!
6) Connections to People: Happy people usually are connected to other people by supportive and loving relationships, no matter whether a few or many. There could be an argument that there are exceptions to this, but by and large, people need other people. From the time we are born, we seek to form attachments to our primary caregivers. Depending on the quality of these attachments, we will usually seek to form friendships and then - intimate partnerships. I’ve found that many unhappy people feel disconnected in some way to others - which can be very painful. Sometimes they are afraid to connect and other times their behavior is disconnecting. Regardless, for those who believe they need other people - and feel alone - a deep sense of unhappiness is common.

Like I mentioned previously, no matter who or where we are in this world, one of the ties that binds us together is the desire for happiness. Many of us know someone who seems to be a truly happy person. There’s something almost magical about them, their level of serenity, joy and state of “knowing” that everything will work out. And if doesn’t, it will still eventually be ok. I imagine that this person likely has all of the 6 happiness qualities I mentioned above. There are so many things that influence our emotional and psychological development. I believe that barring environmental chaos, (war, poverty, living conditions, etc) and severe psychological disturbance, we all have the ability to be “happy.”
It can require a bit of work to tackle the things that might be blocking us from that very achievable goal - shame, resentment, lack of dreams, future worry, isolation and/or lack of a life passion. The great news is I’ve seen it done enough times in my work as a therapist to know - it’s absolutely possible.

Live in the Present...NOW

Living life consciously or deliberately does take effort. Your thoughts are the key. Keeping your mind aware of them is harder than it seems because we are so used to living life unconsciously. We get caught up in work, worrying, thinking about the past, what we have to do in the future so that we lose sight of the NOW. We need to be our own 3rd eye- watching, watching , watching!
Aware of the beauty of what's happening now...smelling the roses. It is worth the effort so we can feel that happiness that only comes from this state of mind.

Recipe 38- Shift into High Gear

We all experience swings in our mood states from time to time- you may feel happy one moment, frustrated another and sad or grumpy at other times depending on what you are focusing on. This is inevitable and some what controllable (unless we are dealing with a mood disorder that needs to be treated by a medical doctor).
Prepare ahead of time to be ready to shift thoughts by making a list of shifters. Write down those thoughts that could quickly change a negative thought and evoke a positive feeling or at least a feeling of relief. Don't expect to go from total frustration to joy instantaneously. But if you can feel a bit of relief of hopefulness, you are on your way.This will start the chain of reaction of attracting more and more positive thoughts.
When a negative thought enters your mind let it go. Say to yourself "I will receive what I choose to think. My feelings will guide me. " Then replace the negative thought with a shifter thought from your list. If one doesn't work, try another. The key is to refocus and feel the good feeling that attaches to it. Try being fully present in the moment and focusing on all those things that support your well-being;look around and be thankful for all the small things.

Permanent Transformation- Practice Makes Perfect

Transforming your life and changing how you live takes practice and work. Too often we read self-help books,really identify with the principles shared and have these wonderful enlightening moments as we realize what is not or what is working in our lives. But then 3 months later these principles become a fading memory.No real change has occurred. Why? Noted psychologist William Glasser tells us how we learn and what we remember. We learn and retain:

10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss with others
95% of what we teach

What this means for life transformation is that we must apply the principles of the Law of Attraction daily. Focus on them, do them, discuss them, teach them. In short, consciously practice them each day till they become part of your life.You've heard the old adage, practice makes perfect. Well, it's never been truer. That's what Living The Secret Everyday is all about

Taken from: Living The Secret Everyday: My Secret Workbook

The Choice is Yours

Listed in our book are over 42 recipes and exercises you can choose from to get going and living the secret everyday. This has been done purposely. The choice is yours. As the creator of your own life...you must be the designer of how you are about to create your reality. I like the idea of being able to structure my life in a conscious and deliberate way.
Only you can choose things that will keep you on track- choose the ones you are attracted to. And be simple- only select a few. You'll find that you will be doing more and more as the days go by. You will get tired of some and replace them with others. The activity we get the most emails about is the vision board. People enjoy doing this activity and it is such a good reminder. We'll focus on this in the next blog.

Staying On Track

The most difficult part of living the secret everyday for me is staying on track. I don't know about you but it is so easy to 'lose your way' and revert to old ways...that is to living unconsciously and by default.We all have such busy lives with to-do lists so long that they don't let us come up for air. We get into our 24/7 mode and literally neglect ourselves. This is one of the reasons I actually wrote this book. I didn't want what I learned from The Secret to be a pleasant memory not followed 3 months later.
I find that the best way to 'stay on track' is to daily remind myself that I want that joyful life and to live it deliberately.I make it as simple as possible.I use different recipes but never too many that will be too much to remember. Currently I have selected just 4 exercises from the book I do daily including reciting the mantra; using post-its to remind me to be grateful, meditating and creatively visualizing and writing in my journal ( which is part of the book).

Recipe 21: My Gratitude Post Its

After you make a list of all the things you are grateful for, take a series of strips of paper or post- its and write on each one something that you are grateful for from your list. Post them around your home where they will be constant reminders of all the wonderful things in your life. Read them out loud as you come across each one. Include them on your bathroom mirror,you refrigerator, your wardrobe mirror. on the dashboard of your car, on your computer and anywhere else you will see them. Change them every so often if you are tiring of them.

Accepting Where You Are To Move On

A few more words on the importance of gratitude. Gratitude is all about accepting where you are in order move on to the joyful and abundant life. When you are genuinely grateful for what you have and where you are in life now, you allow that feeling of well-being to stream through you. You are going with the 'flow ' towards all that you want. Conversely,complaining about not having what you want puts you in a resistive state and manifests what you do not want.
Most importantly: it doesn't matter where you are; all that matters is that you accept where you are and feel good about it. Life is about being happy now and the Law of Attraction will do the rest.

The Best Starting Point

Gratitude is such an important way to Live The Secret Everyday. Whether its being appreciative, being grateful or thankful...consciously and deliberately thinking this way will only attract more and more and more positive thoughts, people and experiences into your life. You will feel better and better as it becomes habitual. At first you have to work at it, probably because this is not the normal way you act.

Try it...it forces you to live in the NOW and connect to yourself.
As soon as you get up in the morning,think about what you are grateful for and verbalize it out loud or in your mind.Then as you go about your day consciously look for things and people around you that please you in some way and again and again verbalize them to yourself in your mind or outloud.

Part of a day might look like this:Thinking - Waking up~ I am grateful, I slept well; I really feel rested. I got a good night's sleep. I am thankful for my health. Wow, yeah it's going to be a beautiful day.I am grateful for the sun shining.I am thankful for my cute house. I am thankful for this great closet filled with so many beautiful clothes. I am grateful I look really good in this outfit. The highway is so open today- I'm grateful there is no traffic. I love my little car- she has been good to me. I am thankful for my job...it is such an interesting one. I'm grateful that I get to work each day with kids that I can help. It is very rewarding.I am so thankful that Carol works for me.She is so efficient and has such a warmth about her....

You won't believe how more and more thoughts of appreciation come to you as you do this exercise: it is the Law of Attraction.

Vacation Your Mind

It's been a while since my last post since I decided to take my own advice and vacation from my world of responsibility. Its wonderful to take that trip to Hawaii if you can afford it for 2 weeks... where you only focus on having a wonderful time and vacationing. Alternatively,you can do it at home. Clearing your mind of everyday worries and to-do lists is a fabulous exercise to do daily. Take a few minutes each day and decide to give your mind a vacation. In our book we give step-by-step exercises to relax, meditate or creatively visualize for this very purpose of clearing your mind and aligning yourself with your Source. Try it.